‘3, 2, 1…Frankie Go Boom’ Review

• Save

Some small, comedic films are so wonderfully asinine that they are (a) instantly charming or (b) become so after multiple viewings.  I assure you that this film did not fall into the “charming” category in either situation.  Sadly, Jordan Roberts’ film has tiny moments of genuine warmth and hilarity that don’t go anywhere and are merely scattered here and there in an otherwise terrible cinematic experience.  Watching this film embarrassed me, not because of its unnecessary raunchiness or characters’ wildly inappropriate remarks and behavior but because there are just enough nuggets of gold to suggest the film that might have been.

What we wind up with is a ridiculous movie about poor Frankie (Charlie Hunnam) whose life is a shambles in large part due to his brother Bruce’s (Chris O’Dowd) filming of his humiliating wedding-day disaster (described, but never seen).  The title refers to Bruce’s penchant for tricking Frankie into being the “star” of mortifying home movies, the wedding-day one of which was posted to the Internet and went wildly viral.  When Bruce graduates from rehab, Frankie – at the behest of his parents (played by Nora Dunn and Sam Anderson) – reluctantly agrees to attend.  Upon leaving the ceremony, Frankie is literally run into by an extremely drunk woman on her bicycle.  She’s Lassie (yes, “Lassie”) and she’s played by Lizzy Caplan in a go-for-broke performance that, in some moments, almost makes the film enjoyable.  I found Caplan’s performance in the mediocre film Bachelorette to be that film’s saving grace (Note: I mistakenly rated that film a 6/10 which is really how I rated Caplan’s contribution; the film itself was more of a 4/10).

Frankie and Lassie wind up back at his parents’ home and have a horribly awkward sexual encounter which was, of course, secretly videotaped by Bruce.  I won’t describe the scene, primarily because it’s the film’s best and if you’re dead set on seeing this movie, you’ll want to do so for this scene – so I refuse to spoil it for you.  It’s the film’s best moment because it is so remarkably genuine and real in a movie that is otherwise completely unbelievable and psychotic.  The rest of the movie involves Frankie finding out about the video, struggling to keep Bruce from sharing it with Internet viewers, and ultimately Bruce’s assistance in trying to first get the video back and then get it taken down from the website to which it’s uploaded.

Bruce does so for his own selfish reason and not for his brother or Lassie’s sake.  Bruce wants to make movies with a once popular actor he met in rehab named Jack (Chris Noth) who is perhaps more unhinged off drugs than he was while wasted.  When Bruce finds out that crazy, gun-toting Jack is Lassie’s father and Bruce’s surreptitious video is just as embarrassing to Lassie as it is to Frankie, he has no choice but to team up with his brother to destroy the evidence to (a) ensure that Jack will star in his movies and (b) keep himself from being shot.  Of course, Lassie sees the video, blames Frankie, and their once promising relationship falls apart.  For good, preposterous, insane measure, Bruce enlists the help of his former cellmate in attempting to remove the video from the web.  It must be said that this former cellmate is Phil, well, Phyllis – a post-op transgendered person ludicrously played by Ron Perlman in full regalia.

So, that lengthy description should save you from wasting valuable free time watching this movie.  Hunnam, O’Dowd, Caplan, Noth, and Perlman have all been better in other films and/or television series.  They’re not without their charms as actors, so seek them out in superior material and let Frankie “go boom” in unwatched peace and quiet.