‘Total Recall’ Review

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Total Recall is the latest sci-fi/action reboot from director Len Wiseman, the man who brought us Underworld 1 and 2, and Live Free or Die Hard.  If mentioning these films gets you excited about Total Recall, then you’ll probably walk out of the theater satisfied.  If mentioning these films makes you shutter, then you’ll probably walk away feeling blasé about the experience. Unfortunately I’m part of the latter group, feeling that this was a pointless cash grab that brought nothing to the table and resulted in a good looking, but forgettable sci-fi flick.

The film stars Colin Farrell as Doug Quaid, a working class guy who just feels like he wants something out of life than a steady-paying job, a gorgeous wife played by Kate Beckinsale, and a cool looking futuristic apartment.  Doug decides to visit a place called Rekall, in order to give himself memories of being a secret agent, however things go wrong and it turns out that he really is one.  Everything in his life turns out to be a lie, and he must team up with Jessica Biel to find out what’s going on.

There’s not a lot to say about this film that hasn’t already been said about Wiseman’s previous films.  While the director clearly has a knack for the visual side of things, his films are lacking in nearly every other regard. The action set pieces in the film are abundant and visually pleasing, however they occur too often and are way too long.  They also don’t feature anything we haven’t seen before, which ends up making the film even more boring and forgettable.

Performance-wise, there’s nothing to highlight with the film either. No one was outwardly bad, but the actors that seemed the most interesting, Bill Nighy and Bryan Cranston, had so little to do it just seemed like a waste of talent.

Now, it seems fairly obvious that most people will be comparing notes between this version and the Arnold Schwarzenegger version. For simplicity sake, we’ll just say that the original was far superior in nearly every aspect, with the exception of the visual effects. I knew going into the reboot that it didn’t take place on Mars, and not being a die-hard fan of the original I didn’t really care. However, I didn’t realize that meant there wouldn’t be any weird mutant characters, including Kuato. They did make several nods to the original though, with the disguise in the terminal scene, and the three-breasted girl.

Three breasts aside, this still isn’t a movie worth seeing, or recommending. If you have nothing better to do on a Sunday and there’s nothing else at the Red Box, it might be worth it, but don’t expect anything more than a completely dull, nothing of a film.