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Director: Barry Battles
MPAA Rating: R
Film Pulse Score: 4/10
I know nothing about Barry Battles who directed and co-wrote this film; perhaps that is because The Baytown Outlaws is his first feature with one previous short film on his threadbare résumé. However, what can be surmised about Battles from this single film? I can only presume that he is a fan of Quentin Tarantino because this film can either be generously considered paying homage to Tarantino or ungenerously labeled an outright case of second-rate thievery of the great director’s work.
The film’s premise is fairly straightforward and almost joyously ridiculous. A small-county Louisiana sheriff (Andre Braugher) uses three “good ol’ boys” as vigilantes to knock off the area’s bad guys, dipping into county funds under “crime scene cleanup” to pay for the Oodie brothers’ handiwork. Brick (Clayne Crawford) is the eldest, the “smartest” one, and the trio’s leader. The built-like-a-brickhouse Lincoln (Daniel Cudmore) is next in line as the brothers’ brawn; he’s literally the strong, silent type as his voicebox is damaged and he can only communicate with a low-budget version of a Stephen Hawking push-and-play speaking device. Finally, McQueen (Travis Fimmel) is the baby and, well, the dimmest of a fairly dim group. As portrayed by Crawford, Cudmore, and Fimmel, the brothers are not without a certain kind of, dare I say, redneck charm. I would go so far as to say that if these three characters were part of a better story, I would actually be interested in seeing their shenanigans played out on the silver screen. The rating I award the film is almost entirely due to the brothers’ interactions with one another.
Unfortunately, the characters are not part of a great story here. Instead, we find them hired by a mysterious woman named Celeste (Eva Longoria) who knows them by reputation only. She persuades them to rescue her godson Rob (Thomas Brodie-Sangster) from her ex, Carlos (Billy Bob Thornton). With $5,000 up front and another $20,000 promised when the deed is done – getting Rob and killing Carlos and his men – the Oodie brothers set out to make what they believe will be quick and easy money. Of course, if everything went according to plan, we would have no movie (which would not necessarily be a bad thing). The brothers manage to save Rob who is a mentally- and physically-challenged teenager confined to a wheelchair. The primary reason for this (as far as the story goes) is that Rob will be unable to manage the sizeable trust fund’s assets that will become his when he turns 18 and Carlos’ physical possession of the young man will somehow entitle him to the money. The brothers do not care about the money themselves and like the kid for himself, making him one of the family along the way.
So Rob joins the brothers on the road, but the Oodies failed to kill Carlos and so he sends his menagerie of assassins after them. First, he sends five prostitutes who find the brothers in a roadside bar and just when they seem to have the guys stymied by their sexual prowess, the Oodies dispatch each in quick succession. Then, the foursome is tracked down on the road by a gang of well-armed African-American men driving a semi aptly named “Nubian Princess.” Though touch-and-go, the Oodies manage to take out this group as well. Finally, Carlos’ last gang picks up the trail – a group of Native Americans equipped with scalping knives and, yes, bows and arrows. Now, I’m no fan of political correctness in any form, but three assassin groups consisting of women (again, prostitutes), blacks, and Indians? Was that necessary?
Ultimately, the film ends as it must with a shootout as the sheriff and an annoying ATF agent (Paul Wesley) – who has figured out the sheriff’s deeds and tracked down the brothers to Mississippi – bring the brothers to justice. Rob is reunited with Celeste and all seems right with the world. Well, all is right with the possible exception of this film’s outrageous, audacious, and ludicrous evolution from the first frame to the last. But you see it and be the judge; I dare you.
I hated this movie. Everything about it felt like a cheap knock-off of something else. In addition to the obvious Tarantino vibe, I felt a strong The Warriors vibe and some Smokin’ Aces in there too.
The stupid comic book cuts were very similar to the horrible ones added in The Warriors director’s cut, and of course the different types of gangs the brothers had to fight.
Movies like this piss me off because they’re so derivative I can’t stand it. Then again, I’m a huge fan of 70s exploitation so I’m slightly protective of it!
My, Adam, I hope my review doesn’t read as praise for the film (ha). I’ll take this opportunity to add a supplemental comment. I agree with Adam’s remarks and clearly the film is a knock-off of several movies and the “grindhouse” explotation genre famous in the ’70s; I just chose to focus in on the most obvious and high-profile example which I felt was Tarantino’s work. I want to reiterate to all that the surprising (yes, even surprising to myself) 4/10 rating was solely based on a rather superficial likeability quotient with regard to the Oodie brothers characters. Not a particular fan of the explotation genre myself, my dislike of the film is not as deep-seated as my esteemed colleague’s is. But I do want to be sure the last paragraph’s adjectives of “outrageous, audacious, and ludicrous” are read by all interested parties with the negative connotation I intended.