DON’T GO IN THE WOODS Review

2

Film Pulse Score

Release Date: January 13, 2012
MPAA Rating: R
Director: Vincent D’Onofrio
FilmPulse Score: 2/10

Although the idea of watching a movie about an emo band going into the woods to write and subsequently being murdered one by one sounds like it would be a good time, this movie is anything but. It should be first noted, that although this is a horror movie, it’s also a musical.  That’s right, we the viewers have to suffer through their horrible music before they have to suffer a terrible demise.

This film was co-written and directed by actor Vincent D’Onofrio and it’s immediately clear that he needs to stick to being weird in movies and tv shows rather than trying to translate his eccentricities to the screen himself.
Minus the spontaneous bursts into song, this movie is as generic as a horror movie can be.  Douche bag kids you hate go into woods despite signs telling them not to, party, have sex, get murdered, rinse repeat.
This movie also reminded of something that’s been a thorn in the horror filmmaker’s side for the last few years, the cell phone.  It’s always interesting to see how a film explains why the characters couldn’t just use their cell to call for help.  In this movie, they cleared this problem up by having an entire scene dedicated to two of the characters discussing the movie Every Which Way But Loose.  The two couldn’t figure out what the monkey’s name was so the girl said something like “Oh I’ll call my sister I bet she’ll know, oh no my phone doesn’t work!”
The climax of the film was a predictable cop-out as well *cough* High Tension *cough*
Please avoid this movie unless you have a bunch of your buddies over and want to laugh at a bad movie.