Multiple FacePalm – Messing with Hitchcock plus Michael Bay

It seems we’ve been stuck in a k-hole of facepalms this week, starting with news that there is a remake of Hitchcock’s Rebecca on the way from DreamWorks. Then, we find out that Paramount is planning to remake Hitchcock’s Suspicion (take that, DreamWorks). To top it all off, explosion fetish director Michael Bay will be rebooting (yes, you read that right) Transformers, which is excepted to arrive in the summer of 2014, but hopefully the Mayans are right.

We start our first ever multiple FacePalm with old news: you might have already heard that DreamWorks is going to redo Alfred Hitchcock’s Rebecca. Steven Knight is going to write the remake, which will be based off of the original book by Daphne du Maurier. Knight also wrote Eastern Promises and Dirty Pretty Things, so it might not be entirely god-awful. But bear in mind Rebecca was the only Hitchcock movie to win an Oscar for Best Picture, begging the question – WHY?

The Suspicion remake will be written by Veena Sud, who is the showrunner of AMC’s The Killing. The original film is based on Francis Iles’s 1932 novel Before the Fact, in which a wealthy but plain Lina Mclaidlaw, who marries the charming and feckless Johnny Aysgarth against the advice of her father. Lina is certain she can change him for the better, until she is forced to acknowledge that he is a compulsive liar, a crook and a murderer. But still she loves him, while fearing she will inevitably become one of his victims.

The Transformers news is well, Transformers news. Michael Bay, Transformers, a reboot of a franchise of movies that just saw its last incarnation in 2011, which by the way was called Dark of the Moon…Not to mention all the fun possibilities with the number four and the name Transformers that I am sure they will come up with. All of this mixed together creates the perfect cocktail of pure unadulterated shite, served up by the douchiest bartender of cinema.